"Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent." That being said...

I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room
Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)
It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)
Wait until the dust settles

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

I recommend biting off more then you can chew to anyone
I certainly do
I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at any time
Feel free
Throw it down (the caution blocks you from the wind)
Hold it up (to the rays)
You wait and see when the smoke clears

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

You grieve you learn
You choke you learn
You laugh you learn
You choose you learn
You pray you learn
You ask you learn
You live you learn

Celebrate we will
'Cause life is short but sweet for certain
Hey, we climb on two by two
To be sure these days continue
Things we cannot change

"You don't get to choose how you're going to die, or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now."
~ Joan Baez

Classes started up today, which was a little weird in itself. It turned out being a good day overall though. My Women in Music class looks like it will be really interesting and informative, and my teacher seems to really know her stuff. I have the feeling I'll have a fair amount of work for the class, but nothing too bad. My second class today was Musicianship 1, which is basically an intro to music theory class. Andy is teaching it, ie: the class will be really fun and pretty easy. I have this underlying fear that I'm going to say something really stupid in class though and embarass myself. I sorta feel like my performance in the class reflects my abilities as a singer. That's just me being silly though.

One down part of my day was realizing that I'm not elegible to get a scholarship for voice lessons this semester because I'm not registered for Chamber Singers for credit. That means that I probably won't be taking voice lessons at all this semester becuase I'm certainly not paying $550 for lessons. Maybe I can get my advisor to let me register for 6 credits so I can still take lessons. *strokes chin and ponders*

Chamber Singers is going to rock this semester regardless. We had our first rehersal tonight and it turns out that a lot of ex-members are returning, which is soooooo much fun! I'm sad that Jenn won't be singing with us this semester... I understand her reasons for not comming back, but she's such an awsome girl and I'm going to miss her. Sigh... Spring break is still going to rock though! Haha, watch out Italia, here we come!!!

In roughly 12 hours I will be making the 4 hour trip back to Medford to start another semester at Tufts. In many ways I am ready to go back to school. Without classes or a job here at home right now, I feel as if I am wasting my days away. Well, not all of them. I have been out and about doing some things over this break... skiing, going to the St. Francis Inn, painting my room... If you hadn't gathered, the highlight of my break was returning to St. Francis Inn for that one week. During that week I really felt like I could spend my life there, just serving others and spending time in the company of God and the great people of the Inn. Life is so simple and so easy, something I definitely can embrace. Especially in leiu of my upcomming semester with the 7ish classes that I have decided to take.

During the past week I have reexamined what I want to do after I graduate, partly because of a few conversations that I participated in while in Philly, partly because of exploring different degree programs at other schools. Human Factors/Ergonomics/Engineering Psychology is still really interesting to me, but sometimes I feel like I'm majoring in it just because I have nothing else to major in. That or I can't decide what to major in, take your pick. In Philly I was reminded of my desire to have a job where I directly help people, like something in the medical field. Now I am seriously, or more seriously, considering going into physical or occupational therapy when I graduate. I would still get to help people in need, but don't have to kill myself in Med school and I would be able to form relationships with my patients and track their progress.

This doesn't make a huge difference with schooling. Tufts doesn't have an undergrad OT or PT major, and I'm certainly not transferring. I just have to add a few more science classes into my course schedule over the next 2 years, which shouldn't be too hard. I just hope I don't change my mind again. Now would be a good time for discernment...

For the past week I was over in Philly volunteering at the St. Francis Inn. This is the second year that I've went there with PSF for a service trip, but if you don't remember what it is check out what I wrote last year after I came back from my first trip to the Inn.

This year's trip was so absolutely amazing... great times, great people, and a whole lots of faith. You can't get too much better than that. All of the same team members were there, although we didn't get to spend as much time with Fr. Fran as we did last year. We did spend a lot of time with the FVMs though. The FVMs (Franciscan Volunteer Ministers) are young adults, usually right out of college, that spend a year either in Philly or in Deleware doing service. The FVMs this year were these four awsome guys (and total goofballs) named Tim, Matt, Dan and LJ. All of them are recent college grads, except for Matt who just finished his soph year of college and is taking a break before finishing up school. But anyway, they're all really fun and we had some good times playing Cranium and Sorry and just chatting. They all have some really interesting things to say, and I'm glad we all got a chance to meet. It was actually Tim who gave me that quote that I put up the other day by Rilke.

I met some pretty cool guests this year also. There was this one guy Chris who was so much fun to talk to. He's one of those people that Fr. Fran says "has more faith in their pinky than you do in your entire body." It's so inspiring to meet people that are going through some really hard times, yet still have so much faith in God... it's incredible. On our last day there two of the guests also got baptised and confirmed, also equally incredible.

All in all, I love the Inn and all the time I spend there. Life there is just so simple and so real. None of the superficial and fake stuff that you see in college, and basically everywhere else. You wake up, eat breakfast, go to mass, help out the community for a few hours while meeting some amazing people, eat dinner, hang out, and go to bed. Well, thats the gist of it anyway. Less is more, right? One of the Fransiscan vows is to "become poor as Christ was poor as to become rich in God's mercy." All I know that my faith was stronger than ever at the Inn, and if leading a simple life is the way to have that, then so be it. The more I go to the Inn, the more I want to be a FVM for a year or two when I graduate. We'll wait and see what happens in two years. :)

I love St. Francis Inn! God is great!

"I beg you... to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to tlive them. And the point is, to live everything. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer..."
~Ranier Maria Rilke

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