fleeting thoughts

Part of me worries that I am forgetting how to be my own person.

A lot of me worries about the future.

Sometimes I miss the way that people used to be.

I wonder what is normal, and why I feel the way I do sometimes.

Rarely (recently) can I articulate myself well enough to get across what I'm feeling.

At times I wish my thoughts would slow down so I could get a grasp of them.

I worry about how people will percieve me if I have this problem.

I wish... well, a lot of things.

Reflections on a Summer and Semester

Sitting/lying in bed while recovering from my wisdom teeth surgery has left me with a considerable amount of time on my hands to tie up loose ends and reflect on the past couple of months. As always, the problem that arises when I post is how much to actually write about, but sometimes getting things all out in the open is a good thing, right?

So where to start... I think freeform will work. As much as I couldn't wait for the fall semester to be over, I can't wait to get back to Boston. I'm just getting bored here in NJ. Maybe I'm antsy to get school over with, maybe I want to get back to my job at Tufts, maybe I simply miss Mike... it's probably a combination of these three or of more factors.

Part of tying up my loose ends was writing/submitting an end-of-the-year report to ACMNP, the organization that i volunteered with over the summer. I know, I'm about four months late, but better late than never, right? (Hopefully...) I ended up going on a facebooking blitz and catching up on everyone. Wow, have things changed since august. Two of my friends are now engaged, a few people are planning to go back to the Tetons, some people have plans for after their graduation. As I read about the lives of some of the people that I spent my summer with, I found myself saddened that I haven't really kept in touch with many of the people that I met this summer. Haha, I think I was too busy falling in love with someone (which I don't regret one bit), but I still wish I was better at keeping in touch with people.

Along that same thread, as my time at college draws to a close, I wonder how good I will be at keeping in touch with the people that I've become friends with over the past four years. I've slowly noticed that I've been letting most of my relationships fall to the wayside for the past year or so. I don't know if it was the trip itself, or if it was just another marker in my life, but I don't think I ever fully "recovered" from my trip last winter to Palestine/Israel. 'Recovered' may not be the best word, but my life has seemed different since that time.

I hope whatever this change is that it's not permanent, because I'm getting awfully tired of it. I'm afraid of the effect that this change may be having on my relationships, and I'm afraid that it will cause me to lose people that I hold close to my heart. But hopefully I'll get this 'problem' sorted out in the near future, and with luck I'll get my life post-May figured out as well. I feel like chances are that I'll be sticking around the Boston area next year... anyone looking for a roomate?