one more for the scrap book
I just finished decoration the last hallway - oh excuse me cafeteria - of my highschool carear. For those who don't know, its a traditions to decorate a hallway for homecomming... school spirit thing. We totally rocked it the first year, although we only came in second because the seniors needed the money that you get. Soph - bull... junior - got cheated again. Which leaves this year. We totally got the frosh and sophs.... juniors, I'm not sure. But its picking up. Its 11pm and i just got home about 10-15 min ago, and a lot of people are still there. I would've stay, but my masochistic teachers decided to give me two tests tomorrow out of four periods.... and its a half day.... they're freakin' insane... damn AP physics and AP history.... and definitelly screw the AP lit homework... not happening... okay, wish me luck =)

just saw "Two Weeks Notice" with Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant.... I would have to say its a really cute movie, go see it everyone =)

Sofas, beanbags & deep thoughts
what a surprisingly good night... nothing really special, but with friends, laughs, and good intelligent conversation, you can't really go wrong. Now most people would think it really boring to stay in, chatting in someones basement for 4 hours, but it really wasn't. After the stint of Taboo and tv watching, we had some really good discussions going there. not mindless ones either. School. Society. Perceptions of beauty. Dark Matter. Time Travel. Wow. the world isn't compleatly lost, is it.

from blurry eyes
I really don't get it. Am I that good of an actress that I make other people that my life is virtually perfect? Do I live two different lives, hiding my true self from the general public? Or do people just not really see who I am? Because I am not perfect... I am not even close. Yes, I will admit that I have somethings going for me. These things so seemingly perfect that no one realizes that its not enough. So then I have these things that are supposedly perfect but really aren't, and then there are the other things. Things... what a general and vague word, perfect for everything I'm talking about. Things that are normal, or sub-standard. To whose definitions? Mine. Yours. Society's. Are my personal standards too high? Probably. Is it possible to lower them? Doesn't seem realistic. Because it just didn't happen, I was always like this. If its possible to imagine, I was worse. Not entirely my fault though. It's hard living in someone elses shadow, and its hard to live up to expectations. For while this expectations have not been enforced to the extent that they used to be, they still live full force in my head. Punishing my every mistake and wrong doing. And while I have moments of sanity, those thoughts, those entities are still there, just waiting to be unleashed again.

or why doesn't mr. bell know?

Where is my freakin all-eastern letter?!?!?!?!?

I love how music can take away all your cares and worries and leave you in such a calm and relaxed state....

geez.... could i be more tempramental? I could probably just blame it on PMS.... or lack of emotional maturity... but i don't think that's it. Atypical Bipolar disorder? hmmm.... i think this merits further exploration.

polyoptoton. epanalepsis. chiasmus. epanodos. who the h*ll thought of all these words? did they have absolutely nothing better to do with their time? like we need more words to analyze literature....

ALIAS
no! what are they doing! vaughn can't have a girlfriend! he likes sydney! sydney likes him! they're supposed to be together! ahhhhh!!!! grr... this is the second close call in a row. the first time, sydney was almost about to tell him something (which i hope was something to the equiv. of 'I like you') and then today we was trying to catch up to her! aarrrggghhhh!!!! oooooo, but vaughn is so cute =) heeheehee

Muggle thoughts
oooo, I love Harry Potter =) I went to go see the movie on the opening day, and it was absoluetly awsome! I would even say that it was better than the book... or maybe that's just because the 2nd book is my least favorite of the series so far.... hmmm.... ::shurg:: i dunno... =) it was so good though =)

*pop*
it's amazing how quickly school can put you in a bad mood...

its the soft smile on your lips while you bob your head to the music... it's the feeling you get after having a girl's night out... its the tingle that you get after he touches your arm... it's moments like these that you remember why life is worth living, its these moments that you strive for and hope you never forget. =) you really can't describe how you feel... everything is just so peaceful and perfect and wonderful. and for these few precious moments you forget all of you cares and worries and just live...

I'm one weird person
....but i'm sure you knew that already =)
my madness:I'm practically begging my parents to let me pay for some of the repairs to the civic.... for those who don't know... i got into an accident, a real one this time. It was really slippery with all of the wet leaves on the ground, and the jeep in front of me stops short all of a sudden the jeep infront of me stops short. I can't stop intime, so my car sorta slides under the jeep. Thank God, nothing happened to the jeep (the lady actually felt bad) -> no insurance hike. but there is a significant dent in the hood of the car. its only a foot long, max, but apparently they have to replace the entire freakin hood... Why do I want to pay for it? becuase the accident was all my fault. I figure it'll make me feel better about it... i dunno... my parents are too easy on me. I know, I'm lucky to have parents like that, and I do love them, but consider it a self punishment for being such a dolt...

yawn... must... finish... stupid... lit... essay... zzzzz......

i spy
its pretty interesting to see who has gotten onto my blog from my AIM profile... definitely some people that I havn't seen or heard from in a while... hahah.... =) well hi to all of you people =) i think you know who you are

my last time at the Ho Jo
ahhhh... my days of NJ All-State chorus are over... I had such a blast this year =) it seemed to go a lot quicker than last year though. I wonder why that is. hmnnn.... anyway. I roomed with these three absolutely amazing girls, Dana, Emily, and Nor (Noreen), from watching "Boy Meets World", having parties in the hallway, watching half-naked guys, hooters, secret crushes, starbucks, and a whole bunch of other stuff, we had such a blast together... =) and in addition to my awsome roomies, there were all of these other great people... Cass, ed, paul, steph, tom, carmine, john, anne, molly, "grandpa"... and all of the other amazing all-staters. I miss them all. Hahaha, i think the best thing about all-state is that if you want to break into a random song, you know the people around you can actually sing well... hahah, its awsome. and i actually got to sing the Hallelujah Chorus this year! I didn't miss it! (its a tradition to sing it on the boardwalk after the night rehersal on thursday) sigh... so much fun. Mrs Bass (our conductor) was absolutely amazing too =) you gotta love the dancing during the rehersals =) and what about the commercial breaks? hahahah =) damn though. i wish more people were in region 1... oh well, there's always NJPAC =)

ps: come to the concert in NJPAC! its like less then 20! please?!? pretty please?!? with a cherry on top?!? =)

I think what I had would be classified as a nervous-breakdown.... or at least something of the sort...

Man, i definitley suck. I signed up to go an a retreat, and payed a NON-REFUNDABLE $75... two days later i realized i'm screwed because the north all-state concert is during that weekend.... dammit

Sonicflood is great.... so is Cadet... and Jason Ingram... they all kick butt =)

Friday Five
1. Were you raised in a particular religious faith?
Roman Catholic
2. Do you still practice that faith? Why or why not?
I still go to a R.C. church.... I don't know if i would consider my self a Catholic anymore though. I just say that I'm a Christian, a follower of Jesus... besides, i have some issues with the Catholic Church
3. What do you think happens after death?
We go to heaven... or hell, depending
4. What is your favorite religious ritual (participating in or just observing)?
Praising =)
5. Do you believe people are basically good?
Yes

the end of an era
so today was the last day of my high school soccer career.... interesting... i don't really know how i feel about that. ::sheepish grin:: was i supposed to be crying? i dunno... heeheehee. but anyway, I'm really happy we ended on a good note by ending our last season =) PC, 2-1. good stuff. Screw the SATs for ruining the moment...