today and yester days
again, this post applies to yesterday, excuse my delay in posting... I was only off by 40 minutes or so ;)
I went to go see Varekai, Cirque Du Soleil's new show, today with Jarr and the fam. I'm always amazed by the people in these shows, they're so amazing! Some of the things that they do seem super human sometimes... I'm a little irked that I missed the first 10-15 minutes of the show however, my mom got a tad lost on the way to my dad's office to pick him and my sister up. Grrr... it was so annoying, we could hear what was going on, but we couldn't go in because the show was at a point where there was a blackout, so we couldn't let any light in... Looking at the show's program online, it looks like we missed three acts... poop... ah well, the rest of the show was fabulous, only one or two mess-ups and they weren't even that bad. I think my favorite act was the russian swings, it looked like sooooo much fun! Either that or the juggling guy... he was juggling with his mouth, it was so crazy!

I also watched some of today's Creation Fest's concert today. For the uninformed, Creation Fest is a Christian festival held annually in Pennsylvania (Usually at Agape Farm, but this year at Hershey Park). I went wto summers ago with a bunch of people from Hi-BA and had a complete blast. I couldn't go this year, so I decided to watch some of the concert via a live feed from acaza.com. I ended up watch Michael W. Smith perform, who was amazing by the way, and the candle lighting ceremony. While longing to be at the concert in person, I realized how empty I felt. When I went to Creation Fest two years ago, I was absolutely on fire. I loved God with such a passion and ferocity that it was apparent to those who didn't know anything about my spiritual life. If I remember correctly, someone said one time that I was "glowing." I don't know about you, but I think that's pretty cool. And now? I would call myself a spiritual mess. When I actually read my Bible (which is hardly ever right now) I struggle to get through more than two good sized chapters, and actually absorbing what I'm reading is even more difficult... and I feel like I'm falling further and further away from God each day. It's sorta hard to stay up there when you don't have people to turn to for support. People that are going through the same struggle that you are experiencing. I think that's what I loved most about Hi-BA, there was, and is, something so strengthing about being around people that love God so much. I know that God loves me and will always forgive me if I lay my sins before him, I just feel like such a failure though... So right now, I pray for strength. Strength.

Lately I've been wandering off the narrow path. You’ve given me so many things that I've never had, and all in all I know it's you that always pulls me through. If you reach deep inside you’ll see my heart is true... ‘Cause I hate the way I feel tonight, and I know I need you in my life. Yes I hate the way I feel inside, and I promise to make the sacrifice.
The world I know is pulling me more and more each day, I feel like the odd man out as I begin to pray. Spiteful eyes are watching me with everything I do, In the midst of darkness Lord my spirit calls for you...