Flipping through the channels this afternoon I came across this documentary on Christian music on the Discovery Times channel. Without a doubt, I listen to the most Christian music out of all of the people that I know. But listening to Christian music doesn't make me more of a Christian than the next. What does make someone a Christian then? Certainly not what we listen to or what we read or what profession we are. It seems that one of the only things left is beliefs. I feel like you can't even really say that beliefs define who and what Christians are. Ever since I became active in my faith, I've been trying to figure out who I am as a Christian.

When I became a "born-again Christian," or however you want to call it, my sophomore year of HS I was pretty conservative in my views. I was raised Roman Catholic after all. The Hi-BA crowd is all pretty conservative also, not that it's necessarily a bad thing. As the years progressed and I left Teaneck to go to high school, my world expanded as did my group of Christian friends. College was a bit of a jolt to say the least... a welcome jolt though. Never before had I met so many people that had as liberal views as I did. Not only were they more liberal, but also more welcoming towards people of all walks of life. It's sort of funny actually. It's probably more taboo to be conservative in my college group than it is to be liberal. The thing is that I still hold a few conservative view points.

Yes, I'm one of those people that are going to wait until marriage. And, well... I guess that's it. I'm still on the conservative side regarding abortion, but it's so hard to have different "conditions" regarding laws on abortion. Like abortion, I've been swaying slowly to the other side on a lot of topics. It could be partly due to the people that I spend time with. Even when became a new Christian, it's not like all of my conservative ideals went flying out of the window, I think going to college just allowed me to meet more Christians that share the same views and I do, and allowed my more liberal views to take hold.

So, where does that leave me? ::shrug:: In some sort of faith crisis as it stands right now. It gets awfully lonely after a while being the only person you know that has all the same views as you. Well maybe not all, but most... or maybe I have. But why is it that for every 10 conservative-ish Christians that I meet that are on 'fire' about God, I only meet 1 liberal-ish person that has the same passion? Frankly, it just gets a little discouraging at times.

I guess it all comes down to one thing. Trust. Trust that God is real and that he/she is watching over me. Trust that I am doing God's will. Trust that I'm not crazy for believing in a higher being. And of course you can't forget about faith, because everyone has to have faith in something. Faith is trusting in something that you can't see and that you can't prove, its not just something that religious people have. Athiests have to have the faith to believe that there is no higher power out there, no supreme being. Me... I have faith that there is a God, I just wish my faith was a little stronger sometimes.


When are you people going to learn? It's not about who's right or wrong. No denomination's nailed it yet, and they never will because they're all too self-righteous to realize that it doesn't matter what you have faith in, just that you have faith. Your hearts are in the right place, but your brains need to wake up."

Hmm... I was going to write about my three day ski trip that I went on with my sister, but that doesn't seem particularly significant right now. Just pray for all of those that have died or are suffering from the earthquake and tsunami.

Ahhh... nothing beats being home. Raiding the fridge late at night.... sleeping until 1 o'clock... having your own room... and most importantly, showering without wearing shoes. :grin: But really, being back home has been great. I got back to Teaneck in the early afternoon on Saturday. The drive was pretty uneventful, besides me being an idiot and taking a 20 minute detour because I missed the exit onto the Mass Pike. Traffic was good though, so it didn't really matter. It's surprising how quickly I fell into the old rhythm of things. One thing that I love about being home is that I can read again. You just don't have the time in college to read for pleasure, so whenever I'm home I devour books. It's been, what, about 5 days, and I've already read four new books, and am about to start my 5th after I finish up here. What a nice break from a long semester...

I love how an email from an old friend can brighten your entire day. :)

"There is nothing in which people more betray their character than in what they laugh at."
~Goethe

Hm, it's been quite a while since I've updated, quite a while for me that is. A few things have happened since then...

On Friday I went to Harvard Sq. with Matt to go shopping for a few things. I went the the jewelry shop and got a new pair of star studs, since I'm always loosing earrings. Then I went to Newbury Comics to look at CDs and possibly for other gifts. I finally picked something out, and lo and behold, where's my wallet?! I'm guessing it fell out of my pocket/bag and someone just picked it up. Either way, it's no longer in my possession. Having to cancel my cards/IDs and losing some cash definitely sucked, but I think I miss the other things that were in my wallet more. Little mementos, movie ticket stubs, old IDs and other things I can't even remember any more. Oh well, I guess it serves me right for not being more consciousscious.

UPDATE: I actually got my wallet sent to me in the mail on sunday! It had everything in it, sans the 40 or so dollars that I had in it. True, I already canceled all of my cards already, but it saved me the hassel of having to get new membership cards and what not. And of course now I have all of my pressed pennies :)

Anyway... Saturday was Rev. Steve Bonsey's annual Christmas party. Fun times and good food as always. The Bonsey family is just so nice, I love spending time at their house (even though I've only been there twice :grin:) That night I also went to the TDC show to go watch my hott ex-floormates on stage. The show was really good by the way. Then on Sunday I woke up really early (for me) to go do some fundraising singing at a church in Weston. That night was lessons & carols which was also really fun.

And now it's finals week. So far I have completed one exam (psych), one program (EN 1), and one expressive final (ASL). All I have left is my spanish final on thursday and then I'm done!!! It is very much time for a break. Not so much from Tufts, but from classes. Next semester most of my classes are actually part of my major, so it's fun and exciting. I also have a huge sleep debt that I really need to make up. I stayed up until 5 last night/morning working on my program. My procrastinating tendencies really bite me in the ass sometimes. You all would be proud of me tonight though! I already started studying for my spanish final. :Gasp: speaking of, I should probably stop doing this and get back to that. Good luck to all with everything.

ps: All of you people who acess my site looking for pictures of the NQR really need to get a life.

Mia Hamm calls it a day
At 32 years of age, soccer ledgend Mia Hamm retires from the soccer field after a 17 year career. Along with her are captain Julie Foudy and Joy Fawcett. I wonder who will be the next Mia? My best as on Abby Wambach as the next rising star...

"Fear less, hope more;
Whine less, breathe more;
Talk less, say more;
Hate less, love more;
And all good things are yours."
~Swedish Proverb

Just for the record...
John (aka Texas) is the coolest guy ever! Not only is he a rocking guitarrist, but its awsome that he takes the time out to help other people learn guitar. He taught me some cool guitar tricks to cheat on certain chords... to bad I forgot some of the tricks already! He also let me borrow one of his books of p&w songs that has some great stuff in it. It even has The Cartoon Song by Chris Rice, which just can't be beat. It made me very happy :) The downside is that I'm going to be spending more time slacking off and not studying (like I should be right now)... but oh well. My parents said as long as I don't flunk out of school, I'm okay, and I'm definitely not anywhere close to that point, so its all gravy!

This week does suck quite a bit in terms of of school-work and regular-work. Lets go over it, shall we?

Monday: Spanish in class essay, ASL review, HFES meeting, ENP project meeting, Event Staff (note: the last 4 things all occur at the same time)
Tuesday: ENP presentation, rehersal, LOL, psych review
Wednesday: Spanish Test, Bible Study
Thursday: Psych Test, HFE Midterm, Holiday concert
Friday: Spanish Presentation, looonnngggg Event Staff Concert (Gospel Choir)

It's craziness all around pretty much. But the weekend should rock in terms of PSF shtuff. I can't wait!

"It seems it's always the crazy times..."

Newsie
The New York Times: On Campus, Hanging Out by Logging On
Looks like TheFacebook is getting some national recognition...

In other news...
It's been over three years since 9/11, and there are still 550 people being detained in Guantánamo who haven't had the right to a trial. It is true that "the United States is now engaged in a broader conflict with Al Qaeda, a terrorist organization that has a global reach" (Mr. Boyle, a government layer). It still does not make it right to hold a person for three years without trial. The current argument is over the "government's motion to dismiss the petitions of 54 detainees for habeas corpus that ask the courts to require the government to justify its detentions." So much for due process and being the land of the free.
To see the full article go to: nytimes.com

"Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings."
~Ralph Blum