know thy self before fertilizing others' lawns

They say that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence (or something like that anyway). Sometimes it truly does seem that way. One of my bad habits that I'm trying to kick is the tendency to compare different aspects of my life to those of other people. I compare soccer skills, singing talent, academic prowess, relationship status, life achievement, etc., etc., the list goes on. I've been discovering over the past few weeks that I often tend to think that things are better than they really are for other people... or maybe all that people tend to show is the good and just cover up the bad (which I am fairly good at myself). As much as I want my friends to be happy, its nice to realize that other people's lives aren't all peaches and cream sometimes. What is life without a little bit of lemon anyway? Along with the working to not do the comparison thing anymore, I'm trying to be more grateful for what I have; and in the grand scheme of things, I have a lot. Sometimes its so easy to focus on the things going less-than-perfect in your life than the things that are going great.

Today I went to Park Street Church for the second time. (My general rule of thumb is that I should do most things twice before making a judgment.) The guy (Tom) that gave the message (or whatever you like to call it) today was different from the regular pastor that speaks, and while I did not agree with somethings that he said, I do think he made some good points. One of the things that he spoke about what something to the extent of figuring out what you want to do with your life. Often times you hear people say, "Oh, I just want to follow God's will" or "God will lead me to where I am supposed to be," etc. Tom thought that this was good and faithful mindset, but many times people just wait for God to tell them what to do instead of listening to their desires and dreams. Tom's thought is that God plants these desires and dreams into our minds, so following these thoughts are the same thing as following God's will. The challenge is in figuring out what you really want... something that I am having a difficult time with.

By the end of this week I should have heard back from BSOT (Boston School of Occupational Therapy) on my acceptance/denial. While I think I'll be happy about getting in, I don't think I'll be that sad about not getting in, because I'm still not 100% sure that I want to be an OT. Part of me thinks I know what I really want to do with my life, but there are so many ways that could manifest itself. The question is if I really have the talents to do what I want to do, and what I would have to sacrifice to achieve that dream. Scary thoughts.