gross
who would have thought that peeling dead skin off your legs and arms could be so fasinating? when you just think about it, its quite nasty... but in reality, you get such satisfaction out of it... very weird. Why I am peeling is a very good question. Sure, I got a little burned at gov school, but that was about 2 weeks ago. And even though i did burn a little, it turned into tan... so back to the question of why I'm peeling. Any one have any suggestions?

snif sniff
*this is an attempt to recreate my lost post from yesterday...*

GSE 2002 is officially over... how sad is that... :( i really can't believe it... I miss everyon so much... to any GSE people that are out there, you guys are the best andmade July the best month of my life.... we really have to hang out before next year's reunion! I don't live that far from a bunch of people, call me! lets hang out! :) but anyway, I guess i should go over the last couple of days for all of my non-existent adoring fans out there :) ... or maybe just my town friends that are reading this... So lets see. The talent show on friday was such a blast! Me, ashley, and liz did pretty well. We got a standing ovation or something like that. We have done it a lot better in practice, but it was all good. Major props to the boys of P-200, your performace was so great and absolutly hilarious :) Dan - were you prima ballerina or something? ;) Tracy - you were absolutely amazing as usual! Oooo! some people don't know about Tracy! Tracy was the other Espiritu at GSE... I have never met another Espiritu in my life, it was quite funny... shes such a great and talented girl though :) and she'll probably kill my for writing that :) after the talent show we watched "The Others" which was quite a bad movie if i say so myself. We were basically laughing during the whole entire movie... or maybe that was on account of us being tired.. or Jamie starting to snore... heeheeheeheehee. That night, or morning actualy, my floor only got like 2 hours of sleep... we were shooting for 0 hours, but that didn't work. The picture slide show in the morning was really cute, what good memories :) We were all crying when we were leaving... go figure... it was quite sad. But I get to see some people on friday so I'm excited! go Jon Chang! that'll be it for now, this is a pretty long post... hasta.

double damn
it did get erased... grrrr....

damn
i think my blog entry just got erased.. that really sucks. try to re-post it later.

sigh
I have a lot of things to sigh about right now. (1) GSE is over in less than 24 hours, which is just really sad. (2) I confirmed the fact that he doesn't like me anymore and hasn't in a while. (3) I just don't want to go home because GSE is by far one of the best experiences i have ever had in my life and I don't want it to end... don't want this to end. this as in this feeling, these friendships, this freedom, this unity... All the things that make me feel happy and good about myself. And its just really sad... On a happier note, me, liz, and ashley are performing "Ghost" today for the talent show, I'm looking foward to it and hope that everything goes well... wish me luck! I think I'm going to get my packing over with now.

its almost over!
I can't believe it! I only have about 36 more hours at this camp... Thats so sad... sniff... must stop talking about it. ok. So the presentation went pretty well, no major mess-ups excpet the animation thing for the water cycle didn't really work. The Ethic Class' presentation was really funny; I think the funniest part was their commercials. Lets see... on tuesday we went on our last field trip to Stewarts for rootbeer floats and icecream. I got a cone of chocolate-chip-cookie-dough ice cream... It was soooooooo yummy. Except it kept dripping all over me 'cause it melted so fast! Oh well, we also went to this shore thing, and it was ok. Oh. The sunrise of tuesday morning was pretty; definitely slept through some of it though, but it was nice. And about him, well I'm convinced that he doesn't like me anymore and that he hasn't in a while. I think he likes this other girl becuase they hang out all the time... I guess I'm ok with it. I still like him though and would like to get to know him better, considering that we don't live too far apart. It was just nice to know that someone liked me. Wednesday was pretty uneventfull. So back to today... Oh! ok. Hahaha I started a mini-water fight. It was mucho fun! except Sara dumped a whole bag of water on me, but its ok cause i got her back. heeheeheehee.... I'm going to go back outside to play before curfew. ta ta!

Watching Ocean's 11 did work. I think i was just sulking or something. Or maybe I was/am a little sad that I don't get to talk to Angela and Ashley as much, i dunno. Today was a pretty good day. I went to class, which wasn't that bad except for the stong fumes of rubbing alchol (we were analyzing "critters" from Stony Brook). Lunch was decent, my mile+ run was pretty good, and I got to juggle for a little while. Dinner was really good to; we had it in the TRLC again on account of the soccer camp that's here (they started on sunday), so we had to-order pasta dishes with some yummy strawberry shortcake stuff for dessert... mmmmmm.... Tomorrow morning, 5am specifically, I am going to go watch the sunrise with a bunch of people; I'm actually really looking foward to it. I wish that 'he' was coming though, it would be really nice. But I still think that he doesn't like me anymore. I'm thinking that I just won't go to sleep or something like that... I'll just go into overdrive like I usually do when I pull all-nighters. It should be fun regardless. Ooo, one highlight was Dianna cutting Tom's hair tonight. It was quite intresting. She's never really cut hair before, well except for Kapil, and Tom was sorta freaking out... it was pretty funny... But it looked good in the end... Our presentation is going pretty well, and I guess that's about it. Check in later. Hasta luego.

my weirdness
I have to be one of the strangest people in the world. I'm having so much fun at GSE, and I find it sad that we have to leave in a week, so why am I so down? I really dunno, i just feel really sad right now... Or maybe I'm cranky and stuff. I've decided that I have this stupid complex where I always fear that I am unpopular and that I don't have any friends and that no one like me. Now i know that thats not true, but i feel so... i dunno... i can't really think of any words that describe how I feel. I guess its lonely. Right. Lonely surrounded by 91+ people. That makes sense. ((That's sarcasm if you didn't realize)) It probably doesn't help by dwelling on it, but then again i don't really know what feelings I'm dwelling on. I think I need to get help or something, i dunno. I'm going to go watch Ocean's 11 again, maybe that will help...

thoughts & confessions
Ok, time for new information into my personal life. I've told a lot of people at GSE and I thought it was time to inform the rest of the unknowing... or at least the unknowing that read this. A little over 2 years ago I was diagnosed with having Alopecia Areata. For those people who don't know what it is, which most don't, Alopecia is an auto-immuno (sp?) problem where your body rejects your hair. In essence, I am almost completely bald. This is why I am always wearing bandanas and stuff.... I just thought that I'd tell everyone, because being at GSE has made me so much more accepting of my condition on account of everyone being so supporting and understanding. It really bothers me that our country/generation thinks that apperance is so important... I guess it just depends on who you hang out with and interact with. But yeah.... now its out in the open. Good.

continued
ahhhh.... noooo soccceerr..... toooo hooootttt.... sigh. Dude, I'm totally going to suck at preseason and I'm supposed to be captian. but ANYWAY, The beach was really really fun. Mike Also launched me off his shoulders and I went like 5 feet in the air... It was so awsome! On Wednesday we just had class, which i almost fell asleep during; and that brings us to today. Today (Thursday) we went boating on Nacote Creek. It was really nice. We went before lunch so it wasn't that hot out, and since we were on the water it was sooooo nice and beautiful and serene and all that sentimental shtuff. I had a lot of fun to sum it up. We also learned about the biota in the creek, so it was educational too, which is the whole entire point of gov school.... Come to think about it, gov school is quite easy. Oh more news, today is the first day of Lax (Lacross) Camp at RSC. This upcomming week should be interesting. At least they're better than the cheerleaders. We might have to get a game of volleyball going against the lax players sometime.... that should be interesting. But as for now, I'm going to go take a shower because I'm nasty from running, and then I'm going to go do some work for a presentation this upcomming week. Go do something better with your time than reading my blog...

update
hey all. Just another update from the hyper one at GSE 2002. So what has happened in the past 3 days? let me think... hmmmm.... Ok, on tuesday I went to a Barrier Island beach which was so nice! I don't think I have been to the beech in at least a year. For the uninformed, the Barrier Islands are a group of moving islands along the southern shore of NJ, they're pretty nice. My class did a beech clean up for 20 minutes of the time we were there, and the rest I/we spent in the water, which just happened to be the perfect temperature. Did a bit of body surfing, which sorta sucked because the waves kept breaking on shallow sand, so i got a ton of sand in my bathing suit. oopss, finish this later, gonna go play soccer...

hyperness
whoa der... Tara is a little bit hyper, you can tell because she's talking in third person. Hahahaha... woooo... So my day was good. I totally was about to fall asleep in class though, I think everyone was. Ahhhh! stuff is so confusing, dating wise mainly of course. Sigh. I'm at a loss about what to do. Advice Anyone? Anyone at all? argh. story of my life. Someone actually likes me and I don't know how to respond because of my undecided moral/religious values. grrr... Oh! and while I'm ranting and raving, Don't you dislike hypocrites! Cause I would really like to go on AIM express right now, but an RA (Residential Assn't) won't let me, all the while he/she is talking on AIM to two of their friends! How annoying! ok, let me go before she see's what I am writting. Night.

oh yeah!
Woo Hoo! I feel so accomplished right now! For the past two days I have been a complete bum, hanging out around campus and not exersizing at all. I ran 3 miles today though! Isn't that hot stuff! Oh yeah! But I'm going to go play soccer now, so I'm out...

heehee
ok. I admit it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I think it was mainly because most of the guys that I/myfriends danced with kept it clean and pg-13 rated. We've gone over how I hate that grinding crap. So yeah, It was actually pretty fun. The music wasn't that bad and all. This one guy Tom did try to get freaky, but oh no, that wrong was quickly righted in about 0.5 seconds. There was also karaok, which was ok. My floor, M-200, sang "Love Shack" by the B-52's, which in itself is a great song. Its just that out of 9 of us, only 4 of us wer really into it. My friend, Liz, and I were going to do a duet, but we decided to drop it b/c everything was just taking to long. Some people were really funny though. It was a pretty good dance. Not horrible. I was pissed that they didn't have glow sticks though, that would have been awseome.
Oh and another thing. You know what a really good feeling is? To know that your liked... Its not to often that I have people like me, considering that I'm not really popular in my school, so knowing that people actually sorta like me is really cool. :) heehee... Ok, I need to drag my friend off the computer because we have to do some work. And this girl sitting next to me is really annyoing me with this song she's singing where every other word is a curse. So yeah. I'm off. We're watching "Shallow Hal" later today as a school so I'll tell you how that goes. Chances are I'll do school work during the movie. I really don't have any interest in that movie. Oh well, you win some and you lose some.

grrr....
Dammit! what is with me and giving in to stupid peer pressures? So here's the deal... some people at gov school thought is would be a good idea to have a dance/social tonight. Cause i dance in the first place.... for one, I don't understand the deal with grinding.... grinding should be restricted to x-games or something... seriously! its looks like the two people are having dry sex! what the h*** is up! argh. And so my floormates pressured me into changing into a tanktop and a kahki shirt... they also made me wear heals for like five minutes, but i changed back into my grungy adidas soccer sandles after they took pictures. I'm telling you, 10 minutes into the "dance" I'm going to go back to my room and change back into shorts. Hey, they're kahki also, no one will even notice. but going back to "dancing." Yeah, I don't do that. Being a wallflower is so much more fun. I should probably read that book, "The Perks To Being A Wallflower." I heard it was pretty good. but anyway. It's not like I'm trying to impress anyone here. And what's the point? People should like other people for who they are; not for the makeup they slather on or the clothes I wear. Why should I go through the trouble of trying to impress someone or make someone like me? If they liked me as a result of my efforts, then they'd be liking a person almost entirely different from me. damn, I'm good. I should write my own book. Well they're dragging me out now. I'll let you know how it turns out. Chances are I'll end up playing volleyball. Wish me luck...

oh yeh...
hey all! whats up?!? we went kayaking yesterday which was soo much fun! My arms/shoulders are so tired though! I've never done anything that extrenuous with my arms before... but it feels sorta good! Weird right? but thats me! The bugs out there were vicious though! They were so big that you would see their pinchers moving... dood... A plus was that I got to be around the person that I sorta have a crush on.. hahahah. I'm bad. So I'm taking a break right now before I have a little interm conference with my teacher Kevin. He's a pretty decent guy. I'm gonna jet and put some stuff back in my room, so we'll all chat later. Oooo! send me some snail mail though so I feel special!
Tara Espiritu
C.O. The Governor's School on the Environment
The Richard Stockton Collge of New Jersey
Pomona, NJ, 08240

...and on...
sigh. I'm having such a good time here. Did I mention that there are some real cuties here? not like drop dead gorgeous (which is nice too, and there are like one or two) but like boy-next-door cute which i think is so much better. But if you think I'm going to name names, you've got to be crazy. I will name some of my friends here though. Joanna aka Oj is my roomate. She's this weird/hyper chick from Ocean Township in Monmouth County. My other floormates, who I'm also all really close with are: Anna, Meredith, Ashley, Emily, Noelle (real name Lindsay), Liz, and Angela. GO M-200!!!! (our dorm/floor). All of the people in this school are generally awsome. There's also liz & Camille & Koppil & Craig & Sarah & Tracy (Go Espiritus!) & Carly & John & Tom & Mike & Kate & all these very cool people. I think I like it so much because this is one place where I can actually be myself. I'm so free here. So unrestricted. And I absolutly love it. People are always wondering why I want to go to college so badly and this is why; because I can be myself. My hometown is just so restraining. It squeezes me so tight sometimes I feel like I can't breath. I don't even know what it is about my town. Maybe its the people. Or maybe it's just the town in general. But here... I have friends, I can be myself, people like me for who I am, I'm outgoing.... I'm everything that is me. And quite frankly, I havn't seen ME in such a long time; such a long time that I almost cry when I think about how much happier my life could be. Not saying that I have a horrible life at home. Its just that... Being me once in a while is a nice thing...

:)
hey all you beautiful people out there! or at least those reading my little blog. I guess you can assume that I'm still at governor's school. Words cannot describe how much fun I'm having here. It definatly ranks up there with Creation Fest as being one of the happiest moments of my life. sigh. Everyone is so incredibly nice and we all get along really well. I can't believe it's only been one week. They're forcing me to go watch "Pay It Foward" right now. Watch? Naw. I have so much work to do. But we'll chat later.

Connected!
Hey all! I'm back! actually I'm still at the governor's school on the Environment. For those who don't know, its like this scholarship summer program payed by the state. Its actually pretty cool, even though it is work. damn. I have to jet becuse I have a lecture to attend in like 15 minutes. later.
to be continued...