This Friday... Nov 1st... Last game of the season... Home @ Votee park... 7pm under the lights, vs. PC... wanna come?

AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Filipinos! you must check out Rex Navarette! He is insane! hahahaha...

Hmmm.....

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

Bored? Personality Disorder Test

yay! we won our second game! woohoo!

damn my procrastination tendencies...

damn. screw me. my SAT scores went down... by like 30... shiz... well, the bright side is that if you take my two best scores, i increased by 20... but damn... i hate standerdized tests... they mean nothing...

meeting again
for the first time in almost three months, I saw and talked to my GSE classmate Adam. Three months may not seem like a lot, but after spending your entire day with a group of people for one month, three months is almost an eternity. So anyway, Creskill was playing Bergen Tech, so hey, why not go see my two friends play? Plus, the academy is so close to where I live. and with the short practice we had today, even better. So yeah, seeing Adam again was nice, he was definitely suprised to see me, but its all good =)

tomorrow: Teaneck v. Holy Angles

yeah, ok, so I've decided not to finish the post I started this morning, I have somthing new to rave about. Not many people gave their two cents about me shaving my head, but I seriously am considering doing it. It would be a hell of a lot easier to deal with.... becuase yet again, my bandana fell off during soccer game today... now I wonder what the other team thinks when that happens... do they think, "woah, whats wrong with her?" or "what a freak?" I'd really like to know. and hair. what a stupid and useless part of the body. God could definitely get rid of it, and humans uldn't be any worse off than they are now. It really serves no purpose. Yeah, it keeps us warm, but thats why we have hats and clothes. Its just a bunch of hassle. Think about how much stress it causes you! Bad hair days, all the money you spend on shampoo and gel, the time it take in the morning to get ready... we should just all shave our heads and be done with it.

meeting the world's expectations
Wow, its only first period and I'm, already feeling so overwhelmed.... there must be something wrong with that.... and there's the bell...
(To be finished at a later time)

Am I a bad friend for not wanting to go somewhere?? Am I?!? you know, i'm sorry, but i never promised that i was going... Is this why I haven't had a "one-and-only-best-friend" for a long time? Wow. I really havn't... Or am i just not a people person? Do I expect the world and then not give enough in return? I don't think I do... Is having a "one-and-only-best-friend" even really necessary? I never used to think so, but then why do I get these savage bouts of lonliness? Savage bouts.... interesting pharse. Its quite possible that I am just over-reacting again, like I always do.... It would probably help if I didn't dwell on things so much... but thats just who I am. Why do I care so much about what other people think of me? What other people say about me? Why should their opinion of me hold standing in my life? because it does. Why? because...

ahhhh!!!! out of my head you contradicting thoughts!

why would i shave my head? i dunno.... it'd be easier to deal with.... ::shrug::

New poll!
Should I shave my head?

small steps
its amazing. how one small thing can mark the start of a new time. absolutely amazing. What I just did, insignificant on the grand scheme of things, just gave me an entire new mindest. Its amazing how free it makes me feel. One. single. thing.

today's game
match: Teaneck v. Bellville... Score: 1 - 0... goals: Tara Espiritu (penalty kick)...
yay me! we won, we won! but geez, let me tell you, that penalty kick was one of the most nerve-wracking things i've ever done... so much pressure... but we still won! Yay! Maybe this game will break our losing streak... hhhmmmmm....

poll: Is dating in HS really worth all thr trouble?

(respond by clicking Shout Out)

damn! why did Halby have to go and tear her ACL? shiz....

Starting Anew
So today was the first (or second actually, i just couldn't go to the first) meeting of the Teaneck chapter of Hi-Ba (High School Born-Againers).... Its basically like/is a bible study group. Its run by this couple, Manoj and Beena Thomas. I started going soph year... and I have to admit it was for really bad reasons.... but I have grown so much since i started going... I'm really glad its started up again. But anyway, there was a really good quote in today's lesson, it was about being in the world, but not being of the world... in short, you have to find yourself, don't go along with the world and conform to their ideas, you need to be your own person emotionally and religiously. You also need to find the right amount of moderation.... somwhere inbetween going off to some convent and isolating yourslef from the world, and being on of those people who just go to church on sunday and think that that's their ticket to heaven.... Me? I'm finding my equilibrium, ever so slowly, but I'll get there =)

ps: for those Christian people... if you interested about seeing what Hi-BA is all about, talk to me, its good times =)

Friday Five

1. If you could only choose 1 cd to ever listen to again, what would it be?
Nichole Nordeman - "This Mystery"
2. If you could only choose 2 movies to watch ever again, what would they be?
ooooo, tough one.... hmmm..... "Shawshank Redemption" and .... i dunno, to many!
3. If you could only choose 3 books to read ever again, what would they be?
The Bible, Harry Potter (book 4), and "A Wrinkle In Time"
4. If you could only choose 4 things to eat or drink ever again, what would they be?
Pasta, apple cider, sho-pao, and water
5. If you could only choose 5 people to ever be/talk/associate/whatever with ever again, who would they be?
my mom, my dad, my sister .... *friends may come and go, but family lasts forever*

TGIT!!!
yeah yeah, i know its really TGIF, but thursday needs some love too! =) hahah, you must excuse my weirdness =) you get used to it after a while. I am so happy its thursday tomorrow though.... except for the entire SAT thing on saturday, they you be outlawed.... oh well, wish me luck with that... ooo! and as a side note! everyone come to my soccer game tomorrow (friday) night! 7pm! votee! v. PC! come!!!! =)

one of those weeks
you know... when everything seems to be going wrong.... when your so sad an depressed for the silliest reasons or for no apparent reason at all... its such weirdness... i seem to be going through this awful mood-swing stage.... maybe its just the dot, I dunno... someone make it go away though... please?!?!

one a day will keep the doctor away...
you've just gotta love apple picking... Its the one thing that i look foward once fall starts. Its just so much fun... climbing the trees to reach the uppermost branches... the smell of all the apples... being able to eat apples right off the tree.... mmmmmm... Its also the only time when i can actually eat apples, because whenever I buy them at the supermarket they always make my throat itch, me being allergic to everything in the world. And then after, we always go to Sugarloaf (its a town) to eat and to walk around. They have the best food at the Barnsider Inn, the popular restaurant there. =) so yummy =) and then we walk around to all of the little stores... now if we could only go more often...

spirit
ahhh.... what a good game against paramus... we lost 6-2, but it was still a good game. Everyone played as hard as they could and didn't give up. See? Thats what I've been pissed off about.... people not caring. I really don't care that we lost today, the fact that we played well as a team totally bypasses that.... just hope it's catching =)
ooo, and plus, i had an assist, which is always nice considering that i'm sweeper =)

Friday Five
1. What size shoe do you wear?
Anywhere from 5 to 6.... my current pair of cleats are a size 4 though... they stretch a lot
2. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
oooo... i don't know.... I'd say 10 or less
3. What type of shoe do you prefer (boots, sneakers, pumps, etc.)?
any type of sandle
4. Describe your favorite pair of shoes. Why are they your favorite?
adidas soccer sandles... definitely. if not them, then my docs
5. What's the most you've spent on one pair of shoes?
hahah, probably my copas (soccer cleats by adidas) they cost between $90 and $100

good things in my life...
1. I have parents that love me and aren't annoying (well not that annoying)
2. I have an awsome sister
3. the small number of friends that i do have are awsome
4. I get to drive a sweet car
5. Even though I'm doing bad right now in school, I'm still moderatly smart
6. I'm not that bad of a soccer player
7. I'm a decent singer (not great though, which is okay)
8. God is great, awsome, and splendiferous!

look at me! =) I'm happy again. darn those mood swings...

Ahhhhh!!! damn you tears of frusteration and self-pity! I banish you to whence you came from! be gone! .... sigh .... it didn't work. did I mention that I also have to deal with having the most overactive/messed-up immune system in the state of New Jersey? Let me tell you, it sucks quite a bit...

tales of uncertainty
damn damn damn.... this is way to much stress for one person to deal with, so excuse my venting for a little while. It hits me today that I don't even know what colleges I'm really applying to... yeah, i have some listed, but i haven't even visted some of them yet... let alone read up on them.... Still have to worry about SAT I's and II's since some of my scores were pieces of crap... and not like smart-people bad... like really bad... and then there's just regular school. looking on current scores of test/quizzes/essays/etc, I've decided that it will be most likely that I will not get a single A on my report card this marking period not counting crap classes like gym and choir.... which means that my rank will drop by about 10+ places AND that my gpa will drop to a 4.0 or below... in addition to all of this, soccer is so completely stressfull and frusterating, which definitely does not help... ahhh screw it, this sucks.....