and on...
you know what never ceases to amaze me? how hard some of my friends try to convince me that I should date. Or that I actually do want to date, and I'm not just admitting it. Rigghtttt... I've been trying to work out my stance on dating ever since I frosh/soph year of highschool... and I'm still trying to figure it out to this day. Let's recap my thoughts over the years, not for you, but for me as well... I guess you can say that my views on dating became all "archaic" once I became a "born-again Christian" for lack of better words. I basically re-prioritized what was important in my life and decided that dating wasn't one of them, especially in high school. So I adopted the stance that I wasn't going to date until I was of marrying age... or at least until I was in college. I figured that there were so many other important things to focus on in highschool that I shouldn't let relationships distract me. On the flip side, I could have just been disallusioning myself. See, I was never asked out in high school (till Ben that is), and maybe by saying that "I don't date" made me feel better about not being asked out. (logic: even if I was asked out, I would have said no, so it was okay that I was a loser and wasn't asked out). So yes, I was a steadfast believer in not dating in high school, until Ben decided to ask me out senior year, and I said yes. Wow. I broke my resolve pretty darn quickly. That makes me think I wasn't so steadfast to begin with. Fortunately (or unfortunately, I haven't decided which yet), that relationship didn't last too long. So I graduated from high school the same way I entered, single and freakin proud of it. In contrary to popular belief, singleness is a gift that shouldn't be wasted. You have so much more freedom, and the chance to form quality friendships with people without one single person demanding a lot of your attention.
So now I'm here in my freshman year at Tufts University. As for my stance on dating... it's very unsteady right now. I can tell you what I'm definitely not doing though. None of this random-hooking-up stuff (clarification: when I say hook-up, i mean make out, not the other more serious thing), or actually hooking up with people that I haven't been in a relationship with for that matter... and well, that pretty much sets the base for my current ideology. Seeing as how that rules out anything beyond kissing. And yes, in case you were wondering, I'm one of those people who believe in no sex before marriage, but that's an entire other topic to be discussed at a later time.
Getting back to the original thought-processess, I'll often think that it would be nice to have a boyfriend... I won't lie and say that I have never "lusted" after a guy before... I think it's part of our nature as humans. I am not one of those girls that actively searches for a boyfriend though. I figure that relationships, and love for that matter, is one of those things that just finds you... you don't find it. So should I date? Or a better way to pose this question (since I would never act on my own accord), so I go on a date with a guy if he asks me? What is the "right" time to start dating? I feel like relationships that aren't focused on the physical aspect are okay, and that I'd like to have something like that... hahaha... do you really want to know what my "dream" is? Have you ever seen A Walk to Remember? Well yeah, I want that... well not specifically that, but I love the type of relationship that Jamie and Landon have. of course I'm not looking for marriage yet because after all, I'm only 18, but just the pureness (if that's a word) of the relationship was so nice and refreshing... especially after observing the people in my highschool play the dating game... hmmm.... so yes, after all of that thinking I still have not come to a single concrete conclusion. It'd be nice if I could figure out what I want/should do, considering my semi-new situation... Does anyone have anything to add? Especially from a religious standpoint...