ahhhh.... i have no attention span. I've been sitting at the computer for more than 2 hours and really haven't gotten anything accomplish on my stupid history essay... Maybe I'll just study for a bit and then try to go back to it. Or would someone like to write my essay for me??? Anyone at all? ... mmmm, i thought not. Oh well. Distractions, distractions...

Why am I so hesitant? Everything is almost perfect right now, yet I'm still doubting it. I don't think I trust myself or something of the sort. Will I be strong enough to stick to my morals? The line is so thin and indistinguishable at most times. Maybe I'm just not ready. But if I don't do anything, chances are I will complain about it later. And of course people will remind me of it. Yes, yes, Carpe Diem. But if seizing the day means losing myself in the process, then I am going to learn how to sit tight and just be content. That would require strength that I don't yet have though. What happened to that strong person of sophomore year? I was so with it, I was moving so confidently in the right direction. Am I that weak that I need someone holding my hand and pushing me along every step of the way? If I only had a yellow brick road that would lead me to wherever I'm going... Would that make me happier though? Or smarter? Life is comprised of triumphs and mistakes... more mistakes than triumphs probably... but is there anyway to make it through unscathed? I guess not